if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
