New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
My life is pants optional.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
