you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
