am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize