Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Randomize