the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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