It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
