Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize