I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
