Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize