I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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