Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
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i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
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remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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