that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
