You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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