My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
