And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
