I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
