I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
