I must be too annoying 4 u.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
