Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize