WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Enjoy the penises
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
