You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
