you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
