Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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