I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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