I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize