I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize