I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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