I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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