K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
