Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
