I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
