The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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