carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?