I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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