Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
