Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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