i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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