Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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