so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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