If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
im on a boat
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