Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Two words: blizzard sex
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
