ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize