Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
