stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
