i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Randomize
