I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
