I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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