I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
