What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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