I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
