Just mADE A PArabola og urine
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
