try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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