wat bout pragnant strippers??
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
We don't watch enough power rangers
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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