my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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