I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
