I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
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