at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
foreskin is a definite game changer
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
