pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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