my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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