Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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