I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
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