i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize