sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
