Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
