Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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