Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
birth control should be required to get into college
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
