I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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