guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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