All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
